I have been having medical problems of late (preparing extensive succulently puss filled post as I write this) but I have realized something I don’t like about myself. And because I typically see myself as better than the rest of you underlings, I thought I might share it.
When one has consistent mecidal crap going on, some choose immediate self-pity. “How dare you expect me to act like a decent human being,” they cry, “don’t you know I’m sick?”
Those folks are easy to spot and dismiss.
I fall into a second group: I don’t try, on a concisous level, to garner sympathy or excuse for not fulfilling my commitments, but somehow I have a tendency at times to veiled self-pity. This type of self-pity can have the same effect (indulging the sick person rather than challenging them), but it looks much more forgivable.
In my case it comes in phrases like “it’s no big deal, I just down (or crabby, or critical, or whatever negative behavior you want to insert) because I am dealing with (fill in the blank.)” Then I can do whatever I wish without responsiblity. I can also do NOTHING without responsibility.
That’s not the reality and I wish I never did that. I have certain physical limitations. I can accept that without feeling that excuses any action or inaction.
Those of you who read this with your own physical or emotional limitations: I am not saying you should pretend your limitations don’t exist. What I am saying is those limitations are not an excuse for us abicating our responsibilities to our families and friends.
I have written a 3-4 page post on my latest doctor visit. I tried to frame it in a funny, non-sympathetic way. While those of us with limitations may lack the ability to do everything a person without those limitations might, we can still do plenty and are not worthy of either pity or admiration. People have dealt with hardship from before there were people.
So let’s get over ourselves.
